Part of me always knew
it takes a more brazen spirit than his
to choose vivid ecstasy
over rose-tinted security
I just didn’t inform the other parts
because the part that knew
also knew I wanted him,
wanted to wait for him to come around.

Part of me always dreamed
of my little craft
having a taste
of the tempestuous sea.
Part of me pined for adventure.
That part of me had a heart
ready to race,
ready to spread its arms wide
and spin around
until I got dizzy.
And that part understood
he’d already had his share of that
and his wants now march
to a different beat.

Part of me believed
in the the staggering beauty
of the great unknown
part of me always wanted
to load its backpack
with turkey sandwiches
and a treasure map
and discover it somewhere,
and that part had long been made aware
he wasn’t the one,
that the scent I’ve been following
is dead,
that the trail’s gone cold.

Part of me had faith
that great love exists

and it was that part of me
that saw you
in all your swashbuckling character
and possibilities,
your gesticulating intensity
and exclamation-punctuated
approach to life,
the part that realized
I have been walking towards you
all this time
in my search for more fertile ground.