I had a relapse today
that you’re totally oblivious to.
There is no way for you to know
just how far I’ve gotten
without looking back
before I took that U-turn
and came knocking at your door.

Crucial day,
my date with destiny
only hours away
but I got there too early
saw my name in lights
up ahead
and got scared
just a few more miles
and I would be upon it
I was about to cross that line
where the scales would tip
and finally
it would be so much easier
to turn my back on temptation
than give in
like a hyperbolic curve
my fear made me miss my target
tunnel vision
made me forget my goal
and focus instead
on the terror
of not having you to run to

so I
turned around
and ran to you
when no one was looking
it was so easy
as easy as all the other times
I’ve done it

but as you
put your arms around me
that nth time
with familiarity
all my rationale
came rushing back to me
and with my closed eyes
I swore to myself
I’d try again
to escape this dead end